{"id":47599,"date":"2019-01-29T11:58:52","date_gmt":"2019-01-29T16:58:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.genealogybank.com\/?p=47599"},"modified":"2023-08-11T12:57:02","modified_gmt":"2023-08-11T16:57:02","slug":"newspaper-etiquette-columns-advice-for-our-ancestors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.genealogybank.com\/blog\/newspaper-etiquette-columns-advice-for-our-ancestors.html","title":{"rendered":"Newspaper Etiquette Columns: Advice for our Ancestors"},"content":{"rendered":"

Introduction<\/em><\/strong>: In this article, Gena Philibert-Ortega describes how etiquette columns in old newspapers provide insights into our ancestors\u2019 lives. Gena is a genealogist and author of the book \u201cFrom the Family Kitchen.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Newspapers through time have been an encyclopedia of sorts. They report on the latest news \u2013 but beyond that, they contain columns that provide a cornucopia of information, from child rearing tips, recipes, to answers for readers\u2019 questions that span the philosophical to the everyday. According to Encyclopedia.com, the newspaper etiquette column has been around since the mid-19th century, providing guidance to readers on the proper way to behave at home and in the world.*<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a><\/p>\n

Reading older etiquette columns in newspaper archives<\/a> isn\u2019t just an interesting look at life in an earlier time. It also helps us to better understand everything from naming conventions to why our ancestors acted in a specific manner.<\/p>\n

Etiquette for the Genealogist<\/strong><\/p>\n

One thing I\u2019m interested in learning: in what ways did etiquette influence how our female ancestors were listed in records and documents? This 1973 newspaper column is a good example. The first question has to do with the wording of a death notice. The writer is confused why the first wife of the deceased is mentioned since she had died three decades prior and the couple had no children. The etiquette writer, Louise David, answers that she also finds that mention of the previous wife unusual.<\/p>\n

As a genealogist, I would want that information to provide me with clues to my family member\u2019s life. But this answer serves as a good reminder that we don\u2019t know who wrote an ancestor\u2019s obituary, and so we cannot be certain how complete it is due to their own preferences or even the \u201cetiquette\u201d of the time.<\/p>\n

The second letter writer in this column asks about using the term \u201cJr.\u201d after his name, and the response is: because his name is not exactly the same as the father (the middle names are different) that he cannot use the term \u201cJr.\u201d after his name.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Columbia Record (Columbia, South Carolina), 23 February 1973, page 17<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This 1955 etiquette column is one family historians should take note of, especially if you are looking for a widowed grandmother in a city directory. The writer asks about how she should be referred to since her husband has been dead three years \u2013 whether Mrs. Gertrude Nelson or Mrs. Edward Martin Nelson is correct. The answer given: she needs to keep her husband\u2019s full name in telephone books and city directories because using her first name as in the \u201cMrs. Gertrude Nelson\u201d example would indicate she is divorced.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Plain Dealer (Cleveland, Ohio), 4 July 1955, page 56<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Wedding Etiquette<\/strong><\/p>\n

Reading the etiquette columns, it becomes obvious that one of the biggest sources of questions needing answers revolve around weddings. It makes sense; these are occasions that don\u2019t happen every day in a family and so there is bound to be uncertainty about how to handle these events.<\/p>\n

In this 1941 newspaper article the question of the financial obligations of the bride and the groom\u2019s family is addressed. While the assumption is the bride’s family pays for the wedding, the groom in 1941 is counseled to pay for the wedding ring, marriage license, clergymen\u2019s fee, the honeymoon and the bride\u2019s bouquet, as well as the corsages for the couple\u2019s mothers.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Columbia Record (Columbia, South Carolina), 9 August 1941, page 15<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And just in case you think all etiquette columns are stuffy and simply dictate outdated rules of decorum, I present to you this 1927 newspaper column by Mrs. Cornelius Beeckman. In this column on \u201ccorrect manners\u201d she answers the question of a young woman invited to be a guest at her cousin\u2019s wedding shower, but not invited to be a part of the wedding party. She wants to decline the invitation and wonders how to explain why to her aunt. Mrs. Beeckman counsels:<\/p>\n

\u201cDear lady, I am glad that you wrote me, and I do hope that you will be willing to take my advice. I am so afraid that you are going to take a narrow-minded step for which you may be sorry all your life. Please, please don\u2019t. By all means, accept the invitation to the party, most graciously and sweetly. And by all means, go to the party in the most friendly way in the world.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

She goes on to instruct the writer to attend and not let her feelings show. She asks the writer to promise her that she will \u201chold you head high and say nothing!\u201d She then invites her to write back and let her know how it went. It is letters like these that make me wish for a follow-up!<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Macon Telegraph (Macon, Georgia), 24 December 1927, page 6<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In some cases, you may hope that an etiquette rule has changed. This 1949 wedding rule makes you hope for a tardy mother of the bride. According to this etiquette column, titled \u201cSocial Security,\u201d once the mother of the bride has been seated, no one else may be seated.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Oregonian (Portland, Oregon), 13 May 1949, page 22<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Your Family\u2019s Manners<\/strong><\/p>\n

As time goes by questions that involve new technology or our changing lifestyles influence the etiquette of the day. While some rules may be appropriate generation after generation, life\u2019s evolution requires a constant updating of appropriate manners. Today you can purchase the 19th edition of Emily Post\u2019s Etiquette<\/em> which addresses manners when communicating, in public, and at weddings.<\/p>\n

Did your family quote Emily Post or read Miss Manners? Are there any family \u201chabits\u201d you have that are due to the etiquette dictates of an earlier generation? Have you used etiquette books or columns to learn more about how our families lived in a different generation?<\/p>\n

________________<\/p>\n

* \u201cEtiquette Columns,\u201d Encyclopedia.com (https:\/\/www.encyclopedia.com\/media\/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps\/etiquette-columns: accessed 29 December 2018).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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