{"id":47769,"date":"2019-02-05T11:08:55","date_gmt":"2019-02-05T16:08:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.genealogybank.com\/?p=47769"},"modified":"2023-08-11T13:02:00","modified_gmt":"2023-08-11T17:02:00","slug":"advice-to-the-lovelorn-the-wisdom-of-beatrice-fairfax","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.genealogybank.com\/blog\/advice-to-the-lovelorn-the-wisdom-of-beatrice-fairfax.html","title":{"rendered":"Advice to the Lovelorn: The Wisdom of Beatrice Fairfax"},"content":{"rendered":"

Introduction<\/em><\/strong>: In this article, Gena Philibert-Ortega writes about the very first newspaper advice column, by \u201cBeatrice Fairfax,\u201d<\/em> begun in 1898. Gena is a genealogist and author of the book \u201cFrom the Family Kitchen.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Advice columns have been one of the mainstays of newspapers since the 20th century. Writers such as Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and Dr. Joyce Brothers are well known today as newspaper columnists that doled out advice on everything including love, etiquette, and family relationships.<\/p>\n

But where did this idea come from to write your most burning questions to a stranger working for a newspaper? Especially when those questions concerned private matters like falling in love, whom to marry, or when to file for a divorce?<\/p>\n

\u201cBeatrice Fairfax\u201d is credited for being the first newspaper advice columnist. She was \u201cborn\u201d in 1898 when journalist Marie Manning (later Gasch) suggested her newspaper, the New York Evening Journal<\/em>, start a column in response to the letters they were receiving from readers of their women\u2019s page asking for advice. Manning suggested a regular advice column, and started answering letters using the name Beatrice Fairfax. Over time, the column became so popular that it is said the Post Office refused to deliver the enormous number of letters that the newspaper received on a daily basis.*<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Detroit News (Detroit, Michigan), 21 December 1945, page 20<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Advice to the Lovelorn<\/strong><\/p>\n

From 1898 to the 1960s, Gasch, along with a few other writers, would answer these letters in the syndicated column \u201cAdvice to the Lovelorn.\u201d Fairfax answered queries from readers both male and female, young and old, who wrote about their love dilemmas.<\/p>\n

The first \u201cAdvice to the Lovelorn\u201d columns featured a cartoonish illustration and this preamble:<\/p>\n

\u201cAll young men and women have love affairs. At such times they need advice. Often it is impossible to obtain it from their families. Families are notoriously unsympathetic in such cases.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Evening Journal, through Miss Beatrice Fairfax, will help all such young persons. Miss Fairfax is a Virginian. She is a woman of experience. She has read and observed widely. She is young enough to sympathize with love\u2019s young dream. She will answer, to the best of her ability, all letters on subjects pertaining to the affections.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Here is the very first advice column, published by the New York Evening Journal<\/em> on 20 July 1898.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
New York Evening Journal (New York, New York), 20 July 1898, page 8<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Over time, the look of the column changed \u2013 but the advice remained consistent and strong. Here is another column, published just 12 days after the original.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
New York Evening Journal (New York, New York), 1 August 1898, page 8<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Not surprisingly, the majority of the questions involved intimate relationships. For example, this 1903 column answers a young woman writing about a love interest of six months who has asked her to marry him. She points out that although she thinks she loves him, she doesn\u2019t think of him at all when he\u2019s not around. Fairfax\u2019s advice is that \u201c\u2018out of sight, out of mind\u2019 should bear no part in love.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (Forth Worth, Texas), 3 May 1903, page 19<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

However, despite the column\u2019s title, not all of the advice given by Fairfax was about love. Take this 1910 question for example, which is about prevailing etiquette. The writer asks whether a gentleman should pick up a handkerchief that a lady has dropped.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
New Orleans Item (New Orleans, Louisiana), 2 March 1910, page 7<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

This 1920 \u201cAdvice to the Lovelorn\u201d column involves friendships with married men and those between a bachelor and a married woman. The first letter, from a reader who is friends with a much older married man, has Fairfax warning that she is just inviting unhappiness.<\/p>\n

The second letter involves a male friend wanting to invite a newly married woman out. Fairfax cautions that although it would be ok to attend an event with this man if her husband was accompanying her, the act of a single man inviting a married woman out without her husband \u201c\u2026suggest[s] that you are already a bit bored by the society of the man you married, only four months ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
Bridgeport Evening Farmer (Bridgeport, Connecticut), 27 December 1920, page 13<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The problems of previous generations are still issues today, such as this 17-year-old girl from 1934 who isn\u2019t sure she likes her boyfriend and doesn\u2019t get along with her own mother. Fairfax answers:<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re tired of the same old boyfriend then you SHOULD make a change\u2026 Too young to be picking a husband anyway at 17\u2026 Do try to be properly sweet to the only mother you have. You wouldn\u2019t think of being sassy to outsiders \u2013 so why should you permit yourself to be that way to the folks at home?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The writer also asked if she should get a job, which Fairfax answers with the suggestion that she not only get that job but buy something nice for her mother.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>
Detroit Times (Detroit, Michigan), 17 July 1934, page 21<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Newspapers, Radio, and Today<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fairfax\u2019s popularity extended beyond the newspaper pages and included a 1930s radio program that provided her another forum in which to answer the public\u2019s questions.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (Fort Worth, Texas), 14 September 1937, page 18<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cBeatrice Fairfax\u201d continued to answer questions after the originator of the column, Marie Manning Gasch, passed away in 1945. But Fairfax\u2019s popularity was much bigger than her originator. Fairfax was a celebrity for some of the same reasons other fictitious women \u2013 for example, Betty Crocker \u2013 were. She provided answers to an inquisitive public. Fairfax\u2019s legacy can be found in the advice columns that pepper newspapers today, and the readers who continue to ask questions in anonymity.<\/p>\n

* \u201cThe Original Dear Abby,\u201d Mental Floss (http:\/\/mentalfloss.com\/article\/33542\/marie-manning-original-dear-abby<\/a>: accessed 29 December 2018).<\/p>\n

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